well its time

I have been off of work for about 9 weeks. I am nervous about going back because well i feel the environment i work is a toxic pit negativity that will begin to suck the life out of me . My counsellor told me to think of myself as a bank i  can give and give and give but eventually there will be nothing left to give i can go into overdraft but that just makes it more difficult to get out of the hole. without making deposits into the bank with guilt or hard feels it is impossible to continue to give. Being off has allowed me to make those deposits to the point i feel i have extra to give. However it has also made me realise that the job that i am is not the career i am meant to do. It is not that I don't want to be a nurse anymore, its all i have ever want to be, its all i have ever done I just feel I am not helping in the way I am meant to the only problem that come with that is I don't what that is. I am going to go back to work and continue to put the deposit into myself so i do not let my patients down or myself for that matter. So I will continue to find me and attempt to block the negativity from the toxic pit of horror. The will be the true test of the new me .