i'm back

1. Well it has been a very busy couple of weeks fir me. As you may know i went back to work after a 10 week stress leave, well i did have my tonsils out first so really 6 weeks. Going back to work was hard very very hard but as i like to say when someone has to do something they don't want to do " suck it up buttercup, build a bridge and get over it ". May not be the nicest to say to ones self but effective. I bought a treadmill to help with my fitness and have been faithfully in running , i made a commitment to myself and i feel that breaking a commitment to me is the worst things. Now 10 weeks ago i would have not considered myself in the equation.I would feel guilty for going to the gym when i would have house work to do or if the kids were home and i wasn't spending time with them. Now I can hop onto my treadmill while my kids play on the wii or watch tv or just do crafts, they are old enough that they understand that playing near the treadmill is unsafe so I feel its ok, however if they were younger i would wait for a nap time or put them into a playpen. Wow kinda got off topic there (hi ADD, nice to see you), so back to work hard but I will say i have a new out look and feel more at ease i don't feel that anxiety when i pull into the parking lot and i haven't cried while sitting in my car once, however i have only been back for 7 shifts and 5 of them were only 8 hour shifts. My shifts yesterday and today were 12 hours they were busy enough, the higher ups felt ut was ok for us to admit patients to the hall ways ??? not really sure how they thought we would be able to give care to these patients in the hallways but we didn't allow it so not mattering but still things that make you go hmmmm. Now onto my exercising, i have ran about 5 k (about 2.5 miles i believe) everyday since i got it. I have also got some hand weights and have been doing some weight lifting and also using my yoga ball as well. I don't think i have lost any weight but i do feel a difference in my overall mood and how I feel about myself. I feel that is worth the cost of the equipment without a doubt. anyway I am so tired will write again tomorrow ..... promise